Twenty-Five Years

Today, I turn 25.

Twenty-five.

I've lived for a full quarter-century.

Honestly, this birthday kind of snuck up on me.  I was so busy with life that I kept forgetting it was coming until BAM.  Here it is.

I'm a year older.

And a year wiser... hopefully. :)

It's a surreal feeling, really.  Part of me still feels 15, with girlish dreams of what I want to be when I "grow up," future baby names stored in my heart, wanting nothing more than to curl up with a good book when I'm having a bad day, the stories in my head begging to be written...

And the other part of me feels much, much older.  As if I've lived a lifetime since I was 15.  Which, I suppose, I have.  With kids keeping me busy, I hardly have time to blog, much less write the stories in my head.  Reading is a luxury for sick days or late nights.

I am a grown up Mama who still has dreams, even though those dreams have been put on hold for the time being.  One day, when I'm not chasing kids around and wiping snotty noses, I'll pick them back up.

For now, I'll keep reminding myself that when I was 15, being a mama is all I really wanted to be.  And it still is.

I had such a blessed birthday.  I got to see almost every one of my nine siblings via FaceTime.  I took my time getting ready, doing my hair and makeup as slow as I wanted.  I had a play date with a sweet friend and her sweet baby (and my own kids, of course).  I ate Chick-fil-A.  Twice.  (Score!)  I took a nap.  I was sent flowers from my in-laws.  I got so, SO many birthday wishes via text message and Facebook (thank you all!).  And I had dinner with my favorite people on the planet.

I couldn't have asked for a better day.

Actually, I take that back.  I could have asked for no allergies.

But other than that -- perfection. :)

Just Like Mama

Me:  "Gabriel, what do you want to be when you grow up?"
Gabriel: "I be just like you, Mama!"

No.  Joke.  My heart melted.  Pretty much instant tears.

And then I got super convicted.

Because sometimes, I hear him say things to his sister that make me cringe.  Not because of how ugly it is, but because I recognize where he heard it.  It is an echo of something that I have said to him.

I've often heard that marriage is like a mirror -- in doing life with someone else, you become more aware of the areas in your own life that need to change.  But I would say that having kids is even more of a mirror. (and not just because you might have a mini-me running around under your feet!)

A sweet friend of mine (who actually just became a mommy this morning!) posted this quote on Instagram about a week ago.  It was probably the day after the above conversation with my son, so it was a timely word for me.

I'm trying to be conscious of my shortcomings as a person and a parent.  Not to focus on negatives, but to change that part of me for my children.  I fail literally every day.  Multiple times.

But by the grace of God, I will eventually become the type of person I want my kids imitating and emulating.

And you know what?  His power is made PERFECT in my weakness.

Where I am weak, there He is strong.

Hallelujah!