The Littles Go to School

This morning, I woke Hallie up (which almost never happens) by telling her it was time for school.  I've never seen that girl get up and dressed so fast.  I told her to get her shoes on while I got dressed and she traipsed into my room a few minutes later with shoes and her backpack.

"Daddy, guess what?!" She exclaimed excitedly.  "Today is my first day of school!"

Asher was almost as excited as his sister.  His class has a Lightning McQueen toy that he scoped out on Tuesday.  (It should also be noted that he has a Lightning McQueen backpack, lunch box, and nap mat.  He is more obsessed with Cars than he was at his birthday.)

We needed this excitement to carry us through the early-morning rush of getting three kids out the door a half-hour earlier than usual.  (Gabriel had his first spirit day today.)

We also needed this excitement after we dropped Big Brother off, when both kids got their faces and knees scraped up on the sidewalk.  Jumping off of steps and curbs and walkways can be dangerous, kids, but who ever listens to their mother?

As I strapped both kids in their carseats to a chorus of wails, runny noses, blood, and tears, I asked them if they still wanted to go to school.  The answer was a yes that sounded more like "why would we not want to go to school?!"

So we went to school.

Hallie's routine was the same as last year.  We dropped her off first and she was happy to see one of the boys from last year in her class again.

Then I headed to Asher's class.  He had thoughts only for that Lightning McQueen, and I prayed that no other child had it first.

Thankfully, he found it while I was unloading his backpack.  Hallelujah.

I watched him play for a few minutes, but then I had to quickly duck out before I started crying.

Anyway, here are some pictures of my cuties!  (Yay for having green grass again!)

Asher-Boy

Asher-Boy,

You, son, are a delight.  An absolute blessing to my life.  Every day, you bring light and laughter to my heart.  Today, on your birthday, I want to take a written "snapshot" of all my favorite things about you (there are a lot!) so that I can look back in the years to come and remember you exactly as you were.  So, here we go...

I love your way with words.  The conversations we share are like no other.  You are so chatty!  I love how you say "yes, ma'am" and "yes, sir."  I love how you communicate, how you repeat everything that anyone says, particularly your siblings.  I love how you already know exactly how to bug them, just by saying one little word... "butt." (We're working on that one.) I love how you're starting to repeat songs, especially when you're singing along with The Imperial March.  

I love your energy, how you run after your brother and sister, never tiring of trying to keep up with their various activities.  I love your courage and your daring spirit, how you climb ladders at the playground and slide down the tallest slides, how you can hold your own (physically and verbally) in a fight with your siblings.  I love your fearless love of swimming (although it seriously freaks me out that you love going under).  I love how you tell people you're "four-and-a-half," because I know you believe you're just as big and as capable as your brother.

I love your obsession with Pixar's Cars, how you carry those character Wheelies around every day, no matter where we go.  I love how you know all their names, how you line every single one up in a straight line when you play.  The other day, you held up Lightning McQueen and told me, "Mah-ween says 'a-CHOW!'" and it's since become one of your favorite things to say.  I love how you love Star Wars and Ninja Turtles, and how you know the names of all those characters, too.  (I also love that you're learning the names of the princesses... you will be very well-rounded, son.)

I love how you love to listen to books, especially "Night Moon," which you almost know by heart.  I love how you let me rock and snuggle you before bed, how you ask for the Sh'ma and "Jesus Me" every night.  I love how you need blankie, pacifier, Brinley the Bear, and Geoffrey the Giraffe to sleep (and sometimes a car or two).  I love that you love your crib and rarely cry to get out, even if you've been awake for an hour.

But most of all, I love the happiness that shines from your eyes.  I love that contagious smile and those perfect little teeth.  Strangers can't help but smile back.  I love your magnetic personality and that you are so quick to apologize, even when you weren't in the wrong.  I love that you're a hugger.  I love that you notice people, that you remember names.

My prayer for you is that you will always be a blessing to everyone around you, that you will make people feel valued and important with authenticity.  I see so much of who you will be already present in your big personality and I pray that you will partner with God to achieve all that He has for you.

I love you, Bugga Boo.  Happiest of birthdays to my happiest of boys.

Love,
Your Mama

Some of my favorite pictures of your second year.

You've always been a water baby! 

Beach babe.

This truck is one of your favorite things.

Future Baylor Bear!

I've never seen you as happy as when you were atop this pony.

My Happy Blessing

Dear Readers,  I have been struggling with whether or not to share part of this post with y'all for almost a year.  Above all, I want to be transparent.  I don't want to only post about the good times, the easy parts of parenting, the cute things my kids do and say.  But at the same time, opening up to anyone who happens by my blog is scary.  However, I keep coming back to this post, so I'm thinking God wants me to put it out there.  Maybe someone needs to read it, to know that they're not alone, that others have been there and are there, that what they're going through is normal.  Thanks for reading. 

In those first few moments after Asher's birth, when they handed him to me and he lay on my chest crying, I fought feelings of near-dislike.

With my first two babies, as soon as I laid eyes on them, it was instant love. Instant connection. But with Asher, it was nothing.

He smelled funny and he would not stop crying.  I was crying.  

Why don't I like this child?

I held him, trying my hardest to love him.  I knew I did, I just didn't feel it.

When I found out I was pregnant with Asher, my emotions were so conflicted.  On the one hand, I was excited.  How could I not be?  A new baby to hold and love!  But at the same time, I was not ready to be pregnant again.  I wanted more kids, just not right away.  My last labor and delivery hadn't yet faded from memory and I just didn't know how I could go through that again so soon.

And here I was... committed to just that.

I fought this anxiety my entire pregnancy.  Thinking about labor would cause a sort of panic in my mind.  So I tried not to think about it.  I tried to focus on the fact that in a few short months, I would be holding a new little life.

However, trying not to think about it didn't really work.  It would come to me randomly, this dark cloud of apprehension.

I read blogs that other moms had written about postpartum depression and wondered if there was such a thing as "prepartum depression."  I felt hopeless, which then made me feel guilty that I wasn't as excited about this new baby as I had been for my first two.  But I could not seem to shake it.

So when I went into labor, I was freaking out internally.  It was so hard mentally, and I knew I could not do this again.  Fortunately, my body, my husband, and my midwife knew what to do.  And I did it (obviously).  At 1:41am on May 5, 2013, Asher entered the world.

And I didn't really like him.

What kind of mother was I?!

The next day in the hospital, I laid my new little boy on the bed and bent over him, studying him close.  He was alert, staring up at me, so I smiled and started talking.

And then he smiled.

He smiled at me.

Immediately, my heart burst with love for this wee little guy.  Something had broken and the feeling was tangible.  I picked him up and snuggled him close.

Asher hasn't stopped smiling.  He melts my heart on a daily basis.  There is just something about that little grin, the way his eyes crinkle, the sight of his little teeth.  It's wholly unlike anything I've seen before.

His smile is contagious.  When we're cruising around the grocery store, or out running errands, he just beams at everyone.  Perfect strangers smile back and comment on his happiness, and I just nod in agreement.  He really is that happy just about all the time.

I call him my happy blessing, which is what his name means.  And it couldn't be more true.  I feel so blessed that God gave this happy little boy to me, especially after how hard I struggled over the timing of his pregnancy.

I learned a much-needed lesson in trust and God's sovereignty.  Even though this was not what I had planned, not even necessarily what I wanted, at that point in my life, God knew better.

I still cry, even today, when I think that if I'd had it my way, my timing, Asher would not be here.

And I can't imagine life without him.  

Happy first birthday, Bugga Boo.  Your Mama loves you more than you'll ever know.

And now to share a few of my favorite Asher-smiles with y'all...

Fiesta-themed birthday party with a sombrero, mustache, and maraca!

First smile caught on camera at 4 days old!

Typical Asher at almost 4 months!

Enjoying springtime at 9 months! 

Normal happy vs. scrunch-faced happy (11 months).

I hope he brightens your day as much as he brightens mine!

Teethers, nephews, and life.

You guys.  Life is crazy with three littles.

I hardly have time to think most days.  There's always a fight to mediate, a child who needs to be held, food to prep, laundry to wash/dry/fold, etc., etc., etc.  Finding time to blog has become less of a priority.

So here's what's been going on with me.

The past week I've had two teethers.  Well, Asher shouldn't really count.  Other than the drool and a little fussiness, he has been himself.  Considering that he is the happiest baby I've ever met, being a little fussy makes him almost normal. Haha.

This is the face of a happy teether.

Hallie, on the other hand, has been cranky enough for two.  Two-year-old molars.  Teething on steroids.  Seriously.  I have never seen my girl this cranky.  She won't eat and won't sleep.  Which means, of course, Mama doesn't get to sleep, either.

Midnight cuddles.

Fortunately, the bottom two look like they've broken all the way through, and Hallie seems much happier today.  Unfortunately, she didn't get all four in at the same time, so we have to do this all over again when the top two decide to come in.  Yay.

To top everything off, Gabriel got sick last night.  I'm praying that it was just an isolated incident, that it's not a stomach bug about to go on a rampage through my house.  I just don't think I can handle that right now (or ever!), thanks.

But, lest you think I'm complaining, lots of good stuff's been going on, too!

On October 13, my sister-in-law had a baby boy.  We were in Dallas for the weekend and I got to see him when he was less than an hour old.  I forgot just how little they are when they're born.  It's only been five months since Asher was born, but I was surprised just how much I didn't remember.

Here he is, y'all.  Isaac Andrew.

There's just something so precious about a new little life.

Fresh.  Peaceful.  Innocent.  Beautiful.

Isaac is a strong little baby, just like a Louis.  He got an infection while in the hospital and had to stay an extra ten days for a round of antibiotics. :( But every picture I saw of him, he was so peaceful and calm, like he didn't even notice his IV.  Amazing.

Getting ready to leave the hospital!

He's home now and doing really well. :)

Not as interesting, but I wanna talk about it... homeschooling Gabriel has been an absolute joy to my heart.  We're a little behind -- started a week late and then took a few days off for the birth of my nephew -- but we are having SO much fun.  I highly recommend the curriculum we've been using, God's Little Explorers.  If you have preschoolers and are contemplating home school, check it out. 

This week, we were learning about Abraham, so we built a tent in our playroom.  It was also great to read about the original Isaac, since cousin Isaac was fresh in his mind.

Fun was had by all!

This past Wednesday, my husband got off work early so I could go have an adventure on my own without kids.  (Well, except Asher, but he hardly counts because he's so easy.)  I without a doubt married the best man.  Ever.  Not only did he take care of the babies, but he dealt with Hallie at her worst.

I went to hear one of my favorite authors speak.  I also got to hug him and get a book signed.

Ted Dekker, y'all.  TED. DEKKER.

This guy is so incredible.  Everything he talked about was like a timely word for me.  It was exactly what I needed to hear in this season.  But more on that in another post.  For now I'll just say, what a privilege to have had the opportunity to hear his heart twice now.  Instead of, you know, just reading his heart.  Ha!

Anyway, my little non-mommy outing gave me strength to get through the night mommying a sleepless toddler.  Hallelujah.  No pun intended.  (Because I call said toddler Hallie-Lou.)

Well, there's a little who needs to be fed and a little who needs to be set free from "room time," so I should sign off.

I have some exciting news that I'm going to be sharing soon, so stay tuned! :)

(Not nearly as exciting as my new nephew or meeting Ted, but big news for me, nonetheless!)

Summer Time

It's been a busy, busy summer, y'all.  Picture-heavy post coming through!

Around the middle of June, we packed up our minivan of awesomeness and made the 22-hour drive to Williamsburg, Virginia, for VACATION!  First up was my little sister's bridal shower and my little brother's graduation. Woo!

Matron of honor with the bride-to-be!

Four of the five!

Handsome grad!

Both events were kind of unreal.  I can't believe that my first sister is now married and my first brother is a high school graduate.  Where has the time gone?!

Anyway, after the shower, Drew and I drove our kids down to Myrtle Beach for a week for our first ever family vacation!  We took one of my sisters with us; she was a HUGE help watching the kids so Mom and Dad could actually get some vacay time of our own.

Here are some of the highlights of our beach trip...

Krispy Kreme -- a luxury we do not get in Houston.  Shipley's sucks. :p

All by himself on the big slide!

Keepin' cool in the shade.

Beach Babe.

"Look, Mama, it's a 'G' for Gabriel!"
I was amazed.

The week was amazing, full of water slides, swimming, date nights, sleeping in, sand, and rain.  When it was over, Whitney and I dropped Drew off at the airport and trekked back up to Williamsburg for wedding preparations and family time!

Uncle & Nephew.  Best buds.

Hanging out at Bounce House.

Hallie's first haircut!

And a long-overdue haircut for Mom!

The five sisters.

Independence Day in Colonial Williamsburg!

Papaw dedicating Hallie and Asher to the Lord.

And then Gabriel lost my phone.  (And it's still missing.  In my parents' house.  In Virginia.  And yes, it's an iPhone 5.)  It died before I realized it was missing, so I couldn't call it or even utilize Find My iPhone.

So, needless to say, I got zero pictures of the wedding festivities.  I somehow forgot that I have a digital camera in my diaper bag.  I'm so used to using my phone that I don't even think about the camera anymore. Sigh.

But anyway.  There's my summer update in (mostly) pictures.

And if you think of it, please pray that my family will find my phone.  I feel like I've lost a limb.  Haha.

Cinco de Mayo!

In the wee hours of the morning on May 5, 2013, Drew and I welcomed our second son into the world.

It was a long labor; 26 hours. Asher was nice and comfy in his wet water world and didn't want to come out!

My contractions began around 11 on Friday night. I had been in bed since 9, exhausted from being sick all day. I drifted in and out of consciousness for a few hours, finally waking up enough to realize that I was having contractions. 

It was a long night. I basically slept for about 3 hours, and only after taking Tylenol PM (midwife recommended). The next morning, we called our friends to watch our kids and started getting ready to leave for the hospital.  

All morning, I'm thinking, Hallie's labor was only 12 hours -- I could have this baby by lunchtime!!

And then things just stopped. Again. 

Twelve hours of contractions came to a complete halt. Disappointing. Frustrating!

Drew's family were already on their way down. It was awful calling to tell them -- again -- that it was a false alarm. (They decided to come anyway and I'm so thankful!)

I remember telling Drew over lunch, "I am not willing for this to be false labor. After twelve hours, at almost 41 weeks? No. It's one thing to have false labor at 38 weeks. But 41? No!"

And we prayed that things would pick back up again. 

Finally -- FINALLY -- around 6 that evening, they did. By 8 the contractions were coming pretty regularly, and we left for the hospital around 9:30.

At midnight, I looked at the clock in the labor room, and said, "So much for a Star Wars baby... Happy Cinco de Mayo!"

Asher Mark Louis was born at 1:41am. 

A few minutes old.

What a blessing he has been to our lives in the short week he's been with us! 

Ready to leave the hospital!

Big brother and sister adore him, which makes this Mama's heart just melt.

And he is the smiliest baby! He gave me his first smile less than 12 hours after birth. He has since smiled at Daddy, Bubba, Sissy, and Honey, as well as multiple times at Mama.

I love him so much more than I thought possible. 

He is truly a blessing sent from God.